Thursday, December 30, 2010

Creatures of the Night

Hello all,
It is 1:30 in the morning as of this sentence.  I should not be awake, but as I haven't posted anything in two days and inspiration suddenly struck me, here we are.
I've actually written some things to Dawn of Night.  Right now, it's mostly filler and character-building stuff, but I'll be introducing an important new person at the end of this latest chapter.  He is...dun dun dun...a vampire.
So that got me thinking about creatures of the night (besides just bored and overly-analytical college students who have no sense of proper hours).  Vampires are really everywhere these days, aren't they?  Once upon a time, there were other things in the young adult section of bookstores, but now those romantic/sexy/bloodthirsty/freaky/creepy/wtfsparkly beings lurk in every corner of fiction.
That, of course, brings me to Twilight.  Some blame/credit it for setting of the massive wave of vampire fiction that now drowns the teen literature, although I'm pretty sure Anne Rice would have something to say about it (oh wait, she doesn't like her Interview with a Vampire stuff anymore since it's un-Christian...or something).  Everybody knows about Twilight and the "epic" "love" between Bella Swann and "perfect" "godlike" SPARKLY Edward Cullen.
Well, I say bugger that.
No vampire in my stories is ever going to be sparkly.  What sort of bizarre aberration against vampire mythos is that?  How is being a walking disco ball at all in tune with the image of vampires as the dark, deeply sensual beings who act as terrifying and yet incredibly alluring metaphors for sex?  Who's going to take a flipping glitter glue-man seriously?  Before anyone asks, no, I have not read the entire series.  I got six chapters into Twilight and had the following reaction:

  • Why am I wasting my time?
  • This is stupid.
  • Bella is an annoying twit.
  • Get this waste of paper away from me.

I did read Midnight Sun.  Waste of a perfectly good hour I could have been playing The Sims or watching Doctor Who.  Besides, I don't need to waste time actually reading such pointless drivel when I can find out all the plot from Wikipedia.
This is why I weep for the future of teen lit.
This has been your obligatory "Twilight sucks why does it exist go read Charles Dickens" rant.  I'll try to get some more done to Dawn of Night, and rest assured, I am going to make sure that these vampires are actually decent.

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